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Thursday, March 23 2017 @ 04:15 PM

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Oxymoron's

HumorOxymoron's....

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
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Seniors Carry Aids

HumorSENIOR CITIZENS
ARE THE NATION'S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS!
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Socrates - Ye Olde Philosopher

HumorKeep this philosophy in mind the next time you either hear, or are about to repeat, a rumor.

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance...
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More Thoughts To Ponder...

Humor1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

3. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?
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Gladys & The Mirror

Humor Gladys is standing in front of her full-length mirror, taking a long, hard look at herself.

"You know, Harvey," she comments, "I stare into this mirror and I see an ancient creature. My face is all wrinkled, my arms and legs
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Old Lady In Court

Humor Little Old Lady in court......

Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring
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Message To The Moon

Humor

Navajo Message to the Moon

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo Project, it took the astronauts to a Navajo reservation in Arizona for training...

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Dog or Cat?

HumorDog And Cat
Author Unknown

I just realized that while children are dogs -- loyal and affectionate -- teenagers are cats. It's so easy to be a dog owner. You feed it, train it, boss it around. It puts its head on your knee and gazes at you as if you were a Rembrandt painting. It bounds indoors with enthusiasm when you call it.

Then around age 13, your adoring little puppy

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Me and God are Tight...

Humor70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results.

Dr. Smith said, "George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?"
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Baked Beans

HumorOnce upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day, he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, "She'll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this" so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
 
 
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